Tag Archives: exams

Surprise! We bought a house!

So after all my writing in cryptic terms I can finally tell the news that has had me bursting at the seams for the last month.

It’s been exactly one month from the day we first saw the house on the internet at our anniversary dinner to the day we got conformation that we definitely have the house!

It’s a three bedroom house only 10 mins bike ride from my boyfriend’s work. We are very very lucky (being only 20 and 21!) and my only sad thought is that as I’m still at uni I cannot live there full time until I leave uni and get a job up in the north.

Still I get to spend my christmas holidays redecorating ‘my’ (our) first house- a dream I’ve had since I was little. I’m please that we get the keys at the start of my month break as I have an exam next week and I think I wouldn’t study well if we got the keys before that!

We announced it on facebook yesterday and it’s been lovely to see all our friends and family so excited for us! I will update my blog with household renovations as we do them so you all can see them too 🙂

I must go now because I have to revise for that exam of mine 😦 and I feel quite poorly tonight 😦 😦 so I need to get an earlyish night (much rather just go straight to bed but I’m feeling really guilty for not revising this weekend!!).

One final thing, my filofax hole punch came yesterday so have now managed to fit my dividers into my diary- will post on this another time! (see previous post on filofax here)

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Exams bring out the worse….

I feel sick, I’m shaking and I feel like giving up… and that’s not the exams that are making me feel this way- which makes it all the worse. Not only do I have to battle with what I find really hard exams, but I’m having to do it alone.
It’s my first full year at uni- last time I only made it just past Christmas. This year I got to the summer term- I’m so proud of that, but I’m finding facing this exam period hell. Last Monday after my first exam I decided I’d had enough of uni- just over 2 weeks away and I was more than ready to come home again, so I did. I’d cocked up at the weekend- my man had gone away to see some new friends, and I ended up getting in a big mess with him. Not good. Not right before my exams…not at any time for that matter, but being exam time made it worse. The pressure on me is so much greater- I’m super stressed and this just added to it.

My housemate hasn’t exactly helped. He has a habit of screaming and swearing at the top of his voice at his computer and his work- anything that remotely annoys him. Every time I jump and get on edge.
Today he even made me late for my exam-I was boiling my pasta 20mins before I had to leave- 10mins to cook, 10 mins to eat. I came back down stairs when I thought it would be ready to find it had been turned to the lowest setting possible- it wasn’t even boiling! The pasta was still hard too! He said that it was wasting energy if I had it on any higher- it would still cook just as quick on a lower setting- well it obviously didnt did it!!!
I couldnt believe this- he said that i was wasting energy cooking my pasta when he’d left the cooker on for over 1/2hr because he’d forgotten it was on, after he’d taken his food off! I had to turn it off for him only 10mins before!!! Anyway… I tried to turn my pasta up, but it didnt really work because we have a rubbish cooker- once you turn it down- you’ve had it, it wont turn up anymore. So I ended up bolting half cooked pasta and then running to my exam.

I digress…
Sometimes all you need to hear when your upset or stressed or worried is “I love you”. Sometimes hearing it from anyone will do, but other times you need to hear it from one person. Well that one person hasn’t said it properly for a week now, when it’s normal to hear it a couple of times a day- that makes you worried. Especially when you’ve messed up with them, your away so cant properly talk to them about it, and your horrendously stressed with being away, so that you turn every molehill into a mountain.
I have half an idea why it hasnt been said. I’ve tried my best to retify that problem, but it hasnt helped not even a bit! I feel like all my efforts (and they have been huge efforts for me even if it hasnt seemed like it to that person) are for nothing. They tell me to stop over thinking- but what can I do when I’m shut up in a room on my own with only text books and notes for company! Revision doesnt distract me! I’m trying- but it really is so difficult when I’m given no reason to believe anything will get any better.

Oh I just want to go home. I want to fix everything, make it better again. I cant do well if I feel like crying every minute, and I have to choke back tears before I say anything to anyone.

Half of me says- just go on regardless. You’ve made it this far, it’s only 7 days, 4 exams till you get to go home again.
The other half says- why bother, the things that are really important to you are falling around your ankles, if you are failing at life- why bother trying to do uni. Go home now.

-big breath and a moment to reflect-

As much as I dont want to, as much as I want to just fall to pieces, I dont think I can risk it. If I do- I really will lose everything I’ve worked for. Worked REALLY hard for. Not just academically.

These exams have brought the worse back out of me. They have made me feel like I did over a year ago, and it hurts SO much. But that’s just why I’m going to have to fight it. I got out of that situation by hard work- all be it with family around me supporting me… I can do it again, this time on my own. I have to. These exams will show the best of me- maybe not academically this time around, but mentally. I will get through this, and when it’s over, and everything is back to rights- I will wonder what all the fuss was about. I can tell it’s not going to be easy though, but I’m going to give it all I’ve got!

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Deadlines, exams, assignments and more assignments…

This week has been a funny one. I know I must be feeling stressed with all the work I’ve got on,  as I’ve been fine one minute and crying in despair the next! Over the next 2 weeks I have got to do 8 assignments and 2 exams. 4 assignments aren’t officially due till after the Easter ‘holidays’ (holidays- ha! yeah right!) but they need you to use specialist software (that I cant find my copy of)/ and get help from tutors which will not be available during the break, so you pretty much HAVE to do them before! 1 assignment hasn’t been handed out yet, and 2 were only handed out this week- both due on the same day!

What frustrates myself and the other 3 people on the course is that the departments in our uni don’t talk to each other properly so we often find that we are set work which is all due on the same day, they don’t realise that the people who bridge across 2 departments could possibly have a large work load from the other department! At the moment this has resulted in 4 large pieces of coursework all due on Tuesday 29th March!

I’m trying to get those particular pieces of work out of the way as quickly as possible, I don’t want to end up having large parts of all of them to do on the Monday night! However this is made tricky as I cant concentrate on them because I have an exam on  Tuesday- which covers all the work done, done in the past semester in one of my modules(- the hardest module!) and I am totally unprepared for it!

At times, I feel like this huge amount of work could be achievable if I plan my time correctly… time management isn’t one of my best attributes at the moment but I’m learning fast (I don’t have a choice not to!). Other times, normally when I’ve been at something for hours , but haven’t seemed to achieved very much at all;  I feel totally overwhelmed and want to back down, but have no corner in which to do so- as they are all filled with piles of papers relating to assignments/ revision!

As a sort of break from the work I’m going out, on a night out, for the first time this term, tomorrow! Half of me says I really shouldn’t, as it’s valuable time that I could be revising or working in, but I don’t think realistically I’d actually achieve anything between 9pm-2am would I? Also it will mean that I’ll lose out on my most productive time of day- the morning, as I catch up on the night’s missed sleep! But I’m really looking forward to going out, as going to FAB- in the guild (our uni’s version of a SU) is one of the things on my “wish list of things to do this year”.  Talking of which that’s a post I want to do (at a later date of course). I have lots of different wish lists of goals I want to achieve- in the academic year, the calendar year, and my life.  But I’ll leave that for another time as I really have to get back to my assignment on Zirconia…

x

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I shouldn’t really be blogging right now, but…

I’ve been wanting to blog for so long now, but I’ve been so busy I really haven’t had time! To be honest I don’t have time to blog now either, but I thought I really better say something! Funny thing is that although I’ve been really busy I haven’t really got anything to say as it’s all uni work basically!

However, I do have a little bit of news- I got a pet goldfish at the weekend! Okay, it’s not the most exotic of pets, and not really the most interesting but I really like it! I’ve called it Apricot and it lives in the tank with my sister’s fish (no name yet) at home in the lakes. Couldn’t really bring it to uni as it’s unfair making it travel so much!

I also went to the cinema at the weekend with my boyfriend, his brother, and his brother’s best friend. We saw True Grit. Fantastic cowboy film, although I’ve never seen the one with John Wayne in it. I really enjoyed the film, but I did find it rather hard to understand the thick American accent! They spoke very fast using old fashioned words which made it very hard to follow at times! Not really a film you go and see to relax as you had to listen hard!

The rest of the time I’ve been the boring kind of busy- just doing uni work! I’ve had an extortionate amount though! We have 4 assignments due before the Easter holidays (which start on 1st April) and 2 exams before then too. The we have 3 assignments due straight after the Easter break, but you need to use uni software to do them, or at least need help from tutors to do them, so they have to be done before Easter too! So that’s 9 assignments/ exams in the next 2 weeks, and there isn’t a single piece of work even nearly half done! I’ve been trying to prioritise things but that’s mostly impossible as a lot of them are due all in the same week (3 pieces on the same day!).  I’m going to see my tutor see what he thinks is the best Modus operandi.  I’m not sure that extensions to deadlines will work what with needing tutors help to do the work, and they wont be available over Easter anyway! I guess I shall have to do my best, keep plodding on and hope that that is okay!

Must go and do some work now (or at least make a list of things to do when I have the computer software that I need (only available in the computer room at uni)! night!

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