A blog is a really useful outlet for emotions, as you can share all sorts of things with loads of people, and hopefully someone who is feeling the same way as you can relate to what you are feeling, whether it be joy or sorrow, anger and frustration or feeling like everything is just right in the world for once!
Unfortunately at the moment I’m feeling rather down. I know everyone has ‘one of those days’ where everything seems to be irritating you and everyone is generally too busy with their own thing to spend time with you! Annoyingly this for me seems to coincide with when I’m feeling rather “off” and then everything seems so much worse!
I seem to be having ‘one of those weeks’ where this happens every day! Such a silly downward spiral- with no one around to really talk to so I thought I’d have a bit of a rant on wordpress!
Last weekend I went to Wales (picture post to follow!) and since then I’ve been at work/ trying to revise. Living in the middle of the countryside, near none of my friends (who are mostly away at uni at the moment due having holidays early as Easter is so late!) means that I haven’t been able to see anyone. And as the trip to Wales overlapped with my boyfriend’s only day off I haven’t been able to see him either!
It’s really bugged me the last couple of days, not being able to see my man because when the ‘holidays’ are over, I wont see him for over a month, and wont really be able to talk to him either, as I’ll be bogged down with exams. Not seeing each other for 2 weeks is bad enough, and I know we really miss the time we have together! 4 weeks seems such a long time! I know that a lot of people have to cope with much longer times apart and so I should be grateful, but I don’t seem to be able to cope very well- particularly when I know I’m going to be very stressed!
I do understand why my boyfriend doesn’t really have the time to see me at the moment though… He works all day, 6 days a week, and then in the evening he’s been busy with his car- which has very kindly committed suicide on him! (I’m sure he will have/ will do soon, a blog post about it should you be interested in finding out more!) He also wants to see his friends who are back from uni for a short time- I cant blame him for wanting that can I! Just sucks a bit, as we will hardly get any time together, especially as our good friend is going to stay at his house for a couple of weeks (the last 2 weeks of my holiday)- I cant just exclude him, and nor do I wish to! No one want’s to be gooseberry! However it does mean I wont really get to see my man alone. =/ Ah dear!
I can’t really mention this to my boyfriend, as the last thing I want to do is make it seem like I want ALL his free time (what left he has of it!) especially as he’s so tired from his full days! I don’t want to make him feel guilty for being busy either!
When we do see each other it feels like everything has to go perfectly as the little time we have together is so precious. It’s a very tricky situation. I dont want things to go belly ups in our relationship either, so I have to just be “okay” with how things are going to be and accept that he’s busy now, when I’m not, and later when I’m busy, he wont be! Oh but that’s so hardddd!!!!!
I did have a lovely evening with him the other day though- chilling out watching TV and playing on the xbox! Was great because I was shattered and so was he, so neither of us felt like doing anything productive and energetic! Bliss!
I think what I need to do, is de-stress! I’ve been so uptight about not having enough time to do the things I want to/ aught to do, that I get nothing done at all! Getting out of the house would be a good start. It can be pretty tense when your shut up with other stressed people!
Hopefully I’ll get to see one of my friends tomorrow for a coffee- a nice change from the normal busy days I’ve been having.
Tomorrow is a new day- lets hope things get better from then on. I shall work to make them better, as things don’t do it by themselves unfortunately!